I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
