Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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