He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize