I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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