i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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