had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
