I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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