What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
