how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
