If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
