I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
