Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
