So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
