she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
