I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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