just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
