We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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