sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
