hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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