so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
