I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
