No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
