She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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