so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
