i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
