A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
