She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
