I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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