No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
