i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I could make wine with my vomit
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
