you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
