I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
How does one acquire holy water?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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