I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
