Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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