he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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