Define "chronic" masturbator.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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