I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You dont lie about slip and slides
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
