apparently the secret to your success is patron
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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