I don't think brook has ever known best
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
