just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
