Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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