I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
