god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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