I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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