i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
