oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
