I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
