His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
