so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
