I want to stick my p in your. b.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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