I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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