maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
