I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
