you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
