Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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