office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
