then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
