My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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