this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize