We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Randomize
