you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
