I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
