I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dignity is for republicans.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
