Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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