I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
