are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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