Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
