I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
