i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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