we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You dont lie about slip and slides
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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