Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
