if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize