Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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