How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
