I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize