dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That accounts for only three of the penises
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My vagina is very pro this idea
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
