The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
