we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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