Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
