the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize