He asked to "fluff my boner.."
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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