okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
