Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
